It is with a heavy heart that I must make the following announcement: over the weekend, we lost one of our own, Tinker-Doodle.

Tinker-Doodle was as fine a sparring partner as could be provided for Helmut. A 5-year-old with spunk and charm, Tinker certainly took the cake as far as dolphins go. She was a competent, spirited girl with fire in her soul and a killer’s instinct. Unfortunately, during a training exercise, Helmut became a little over-zealous in his desire to win as he violently snapped at her upper-torso, severing it completely from the rest of the body.

From the moment they entered the cage, it was obvious that Tinker was outclassed and that Helmut was not treating this as a mere sparring session but as a full-fledged fight to the death. It was over before anything could be done.

While this loss is regrettable, I could not be more satisfied with Helmut’s performance. He showed no hesitation, no timidity. More importantly, he showed no remorse. I have no doubt that when the time comes to fight for real, he will rise to the occasion.

And so, Tinker-Doodle, we salute you. Godspeed.